Fresh lies! Get your fresh lies right here! Step right up....

Actually, I have to begin with a stale lie, since I'm writing this on the four-year anniversary of President Bush's "Mission Accomplished" speech. From his speech on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln:

"We have difficult work to do in Iraq. We're bringing order to parts of that country that remain dangerous. We're pursuing and finding leaders of the old regime, who will be held to account for their crimes. We've begun the search for hidden chemical and biological weapons and already know of hundreds of sites that will be investigated. We're helping to rebuild Iraq, where the dictator built palaces for himself, instead of hospitals and schools."

Now, I don't mean to be snide, but I would be willing to bet that constructing the biggest and most expensive American Embassy in the entire world in Iraq (although "fortress" might be a better word, but certainly not "palace"...) will be built up to specification and without serious flaws. The rest of the Iraqi reconstruction effort, however (those "hospitals and schools"), does not seem to be going so swimmingly.

While a constant refrain from the administration is "the media never reports the good news from Iraq," the reality was laid bare by Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction Stuart Bowen's recent report on the progress of Iraq Reconstruction. Bowen decided to go back to the reconstruction projects that had been hailed as "successes" months ago, and check up on the current situation. The security situation (i.e., "the raging civil war in Iraq") meant they could only visit eight of these sites. As the BBC reports, "Six out of eight Iraqi reconstruction projects hailed as successes by the US government are in fact failures," meaning, in essence, don't believe the cheerful propaganda the government is pushing about the "good news" in Iraq. Tom Toles masterfully sums the situation up in an unpublished sketch better than I ever could.

Next on the list of doubtful recent statements by the government is the announcement that the CIA handed over Abd al-Hadi al-Iraqi, a "top Al Qaeda terrorist," to Guantanamo Bay last week. Remember, last September the Bush Administration announced that it had emptied the CIA's "secret prisons," and sent all of their 14 prisoners to Guantanamo. The Pentagon is not releasing details of when al-Iraqi was captured, leaving the question open of whether last September's statements of "emptying" the CIA prisons was accurate. While the American media remain mute on the issue, the BBC reports that the organization Human Rights Watch just issued a report (complete with names) that "As many as 38 other detainees who were believed to have once been held in CIA custody remain unaccounted for as of April 27, 2007." So you have to wonder whether we're being told the whole truth about this one, too. Especially since the BBC is also reporting claims from an Iranian diplomat that he was tortured by the CIA in an Iraqi prison.

Another favorite lie from the White House is that "Iraq is nothing like Vietnam," and this one is absolutely ripped to shreds by Lieutenant Colonel Paul Yingling in a recent article in the Armed Forces Journal. [It's a long article, so if you don't have time to read it, at least check out this summary reported, once again, by the BBC. At the very least, read the final four paragraphs of Yingling's article, as it is a wakeup call to Congress to exercise stronger oversight over the Pentagon in the hopes of avoiding the next military fiasco.]

Another lie (not exactly fresh) is that America only has 140,000 soldiers (or whatever it is now with the "surge") in Iraq, and that only 3,300-plus Americans have died in military service in Iraq. As Salon reported recently, those numbers are closer to 300,000 and over 4,000 (respectively) when you add in the military contractors we're paying obscene salaries to in Iraq. Even the term "military contractors" is a lie in and of itself -- these are actually mercenaries that are being paid for by our tax dollars, who are not answerable to any law for what they do in Iraq: not U.S. law, not the Uniform Code of Military Justice, and certainly not Iraqi law or those "quaint" Geneva Conventions.

In other news, the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISA) gave lie to the fact that it is anything more than a star chamber session, by approving 2,176 warrants to search or eavesdrop "terrorists" in the U.S., while turning down exactly one request.

I read a blog report this week (that I was unable to confirm) that we've decided to go ahead and finish walling up neighborhoods in Baghdad. It's hard to figure out who lied about this one when it was reported that construction would halt -- Maliki, the U.S. military, or the Bush Administration -- but if true, it's a chilling report.

Laughably, Stephen Hadley and the White House are still apparently going through with the process of interviewing for the job of "Iraq War Czar," a person who will be dedicated to being the "point man on the war," marshalling all federal departments and agencies to make progress in the war effort, and being responsible for the outcome. Funny, I thought that was part of the job description of either Hadley (the National Security Advisor to the President), or of the Commander-In-Chief himself, President Bush. Perhaps they should stop lying about the job title and just call it what it is: "Designated Iraq War Scapegoat". Nah, maybe not. That would just encourage more and more distinguished candidates for the job to turn them down flat. The list of people who have refused the job (i.e., "people in their right mind") must be growing daily, since they seem to still be actively looking for candidates.

[I have to apologize for the disjointed nature of this week's column. I've been rather overwhelmed by the abundance of fresh lies emanating from the government this week. Each and every one of these stories deserve more attention than the mainstream media is ever going to be willing to give them, but when there are so many in such a short time, it's hard to know what to focus on. But to be fair, I leave you with two "Republicans Telling The Truth" awards, and the two "Biggest Whoppers Of The Week" awards.]

For the truth-telling side, Robert Novak reported an extraordinary conversation he recently had with Republican Senator Chuck Hagel from Nebraska, who just got back from a fact-finding trip to Iraq. He gets his Telling The Truth Award for his quotes:

"This thing is really coming undone quickly, and [Prime Minister] Maliki's government is weaker by the day. The police are corrupt, top to bottom. The oil problem is a huge problem. They still can't get anything through the parliament -- no hydrocarbon law, no de-Baathification law, no provincial elections."

And, as Novak goes on to report:

What about claims by proponents of the Iraqi intervention that failure to stop the terrorists in Iraq will open the door to them in the American homeland?

"That's nonsense," Hagel replied. "I've never believed that. That's the same kind of rhetoric and thinking that neocons used to get us into this mess and everything that [Donald] Rumsfeld, [Paul] Wolfowitz, [Richard] Perle, [Douglas] Feith and the vice president all said. Nothing turned out the way they said it would."

It is "nonsense," Hagel said, because "Iraq is not embroiled in a terrorist war today." Hagel, a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee, cited "national intelligence" attributing "maybe 10 percent" of the insurgency and violence to al-Qaeda. Indeed, he described Shiites, Sunnis and Kurds as opposed to al-Qaeda: "They don't like the terrorists. What's happened in Anbar province is the tribes are finally starting to connect with us because al-Qaeda started killing some of their leadership and threatening their people. So the tribes now are at war with al-Qaeda."

"So," said Hagel, "when I hear people say, 'Well, if we leave them to that, it will be chaos' -- what do you think is going on now? Scaring the American people into this blind alley is so dangerous."

Then there's George Voinovich, accurately describing how compromises are reached on bills in Washington (he was speaking of the Iraq War Funding bill):

"Some kind of compromise has to be worked out between the administration and the Democrats. That's how it's done. Everybody holds their nose and maybe a couple of times vomits, but you get it done."

Last night on PBS' News Hour With Jim Lehrer, Republican Senator (from Texas -- where else?) Kay Bailey Hutchison apparently does not live on this planet. She was speaking of (in her opinion) the ridiculousness of running a war in Baghdad from Washington, D.C., but the way she put it earns her a Biggest Whopper Of The Week award. She said we can't try to run a war "from 30,000 miles away," putting the Capitol building somewhere between the Earth and the moon (Distance from Washington, D.C. to Baghdad as the "great circle" flies: 6,222 miles; Earth's diameter: 7,900 miles; Distance from Earth to moon: 240,000 miles; Kay Bailey Hutchison's science IQ: ???).

And finally, President Bush gets the second Biggest Whopper Of The Week award for his entire "Law Day" proclamation. I wasn't even aware that "Law Day" existed, but apparently it's a U.S. holiday (but not a "federal holiday," as that would mean we don't get mail) that came about much as the phrase "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance did -- to prove to those godless communists that we were going to celebrate an AMERICAN Labor Day, at the end of the summer, instead of when the entire rest of the planet celebrates Labor Day (on May 1st). Much like the early Christians (who took pagan holidays, filed the serial numbers off them, and rehabilitated them as Christian holy days), apparently there's an American "anti-commie" holiday on May 1st which I was previously unaware of.

In any case, Bush issued a proclamation which normally would sound rather benign, but given Bush's proclivity for using the Constitution as toilet paper, earned him his Biggest Whopper Of The Week Award (Ruth Marcus of the Washington Post rips Bush apart for this hypocrisy better than I could ever hope to):

Law Day, U.S.A., 2007

By the President of the United States of America

A Proclamation

Our Nation is built upon the rule of law and guided by our founding promise of freedom, equality, and justice for all. Law Day is an opportunity to celebrate the Constitution and the laws that protect our rights and liberties and to recognize our responsibility as citizens to uphold the values of a free and just society.

Generations of Americans have served the cause of justice and shaped our legal institutions to ensure that the blessings of liberty extend to every citizen. The men and women of America's legal community have worked to defend the Constitution, protect the innocent, and secure the rights of their fellow citizens. Their efforts have helped make our Nation a shining example of justice.

America's faith in the rule of law has endured through the centuries. Today, we strive to prepare our next generation of leaders to carry on America's tradition of freedom and democracy. The theme of this year's Law Day, "Liberty Under Law: Empowering Youth, Assuring Democracy," highlights the importance of teaching our young people about the vital role they can play in our democratic society. We all have a duty to help our youth become responsible citizens by promoting the virtues that sustain our democracy and fostering a deeper understanding and respect for our Constitution and laws. These young men and women will shape the future of our country, and their spirit and character will help promote justice, equality, and opportunity throughout our country.

The strength of our legal system requires the ongoing commitment of every citizen. As we observe Law Day, we celebrate our Nation's legal heritage and honor those who work to advance the cause of justice.

[Cross-posted at the Huffington Post]