Now Is The Spring Of Our Discontent
"Hello. My name is Chris W., and I'm a primaryholic."
That's how I would introduce myself if there was a twelve-step program for political junkies. Because we have now entered the long Spring of our discontent -- six weeks with nothing on the Democratic primary calendar before Pennsylvania votes on April 22.
Six weeks! I mean, really... six weeks?!? Who thought up this crazy system?
I (and many others like me) have become so addicted to watching primary returns come in that six weeks seems an eternity. Primaries, caucuses, even Texas two-step primacaucuses -- it was all good. But now, a stark seemingly-endless month-and-a-half before political addicts can get another "fix" of that sweet endorphin rush that comes from watching the numbers mount on election night? I don't think I can take it....
As Bob Dylan said when he defined the term for junkies of all types: "Something is happening here but you don't know what it is... do you, Mr. Jones?" But Bob, that's exactly the point -- nothing is happening here! And I'm not the only one out here seriously jonesing for another vote.
OK, I've got to take a deep breath. Ahhh, that's better.
No, dammit, it isn't. The doldrums of those six weeks still stretch out to the dim future of late next month, on the calendar page before me.
Sigh.
For all of you out there snickering gleefully at my distress and offering me meaningless platitudes such as "it's really not all that long," I say no, thanks. Think about this to grasp what this stretch of time means -- six weeks ago, Super Tuesday hadn't even happened yet. The score was tied at: Clinton 2 (New Hampshire and Nevada); Obama 2 (Iowa and South Carolina). The race was wide open. Heck, there were even other candidates still in the race! That was only six weeks ago. See what I mean? An eternity!
The problem with the race now is that even after six weeks of ups and downs on the primary rollercoaster, it's still fairly wide open. And there are a shrinking number of contests which remain. Eight states (Pennsylvania, Indiana, North Carolina, West Virginia, Kentucky, Oregon, Montana, and South Dakota) still have yet to vote, as do Guam and Puerto Rico.
Hey, wait a minute....
There's still the problem of what to do about Michigan and Florida! Oh, salvation!! A quick look at the calendar shows exactly when they should schedule their re-vote: March 25, and April 8. That would space them and Pennsylvania a comfortable two weeks apart. And at this point, I'm desperate, so either can go first, and they can use any method they wish to count votes (mail-in, firehouse primary, caucus, regular primary -- at this point I'm easy).
Please, Michigan and Florida, break up this political six-week desert with a few oases. I'm counting on you to feed my jones....
Please?
-- Chris Weigant
Look at the bright side, CW....
You could have some catastrophic or earth shattering event occur that would either negate the need for ANY more political elections (catastrophic) or render them utterly silly and useless by comparison (earth shattering)...
Let's see. What can we envision...
Well, under the catastrophic category, all the scientists that predict the Earth has 7.4 billion years left could be off by 7.39999999999 billion years..... But what fun would that be??
How about FIRST CONTACT?? Vulcans land in Montana and convince everyone how ludicrous us mere humans are... Yea, that's the ticket..
Or, we could have a truly earth SHATTERING event and have a rouge comet obliterate Europe. ("Our annual object collision budget is about a million dollars. That allows us to track approximately 3 percent of the sky but, begging your pardon sir, it's a big ass sky..."-ARMAGEDDON
So, take heart... SOMETHING could happen that could actually cure the addiction that is Primary Season...
We can hope, right? :D
Michale.....
Looks like you won't be able to count on FL for a mid-season "fix"...
Fla. presidential primary re-do unlikely
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080313/ap_on_el_pr/primary_scramble
There gonna be a lot o' pissed off Florida Democrats, I gaarroonnteee.....
Michale.....
Michale -
If Vulcans land in Montana, chances are they'd run into a cow before a person... maybe that stupid milk ad was right...
Heh heh.
As for the Sunshine State, my guess is there's some pretty heavy horse-trading going on behind closed doors right now both there and in Michigan... I'll wait until the dust settles before picking a dog in this fight!
-CW
It will be interesting to see..
The age old clash between and immovable force (the rules of the DNC) and an unstoppable object (the will of the two campaigns)
I hate to sound pessimistic here (well, maybe not "HATE" :D), but I cannot see how the DNC can survive this, let alone actually prevail in the general election....
Michale.....
Looks like Michigan is going to bail on a "Do Over" as well...
http://www.wwj.com/Democratic-Re-do-Likely-Won-t-Happen/1844462
It's going to be REAL interesting to see how the DNC resolves this...
Michale.....