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From The Archives -- How About A Saturnalia Display?

[ Posted Tuesday, December 28th, 2021 – 18:03 UTC ]

Everyone having a good between-the-holidays week? We certainly hope so!

Since this is the one week this entire year I'm essentially taking as a holiday week, today I have another column from years past for you to enjoy.

It has always seemed to me that if people can revive long-dead (or at least "mostly forgotten") religions in a modern age -- think of today's Wiccans or Druids, as just two examples -- then why couldn't there be modern-day worshippers of Saturn? In fact, it kind of surprises me that no enterprising group has come up with the idea as of yet (at least, that I am aware of). What would that entail? Well, let's take a look, shall we?

 

Originally published December 18, 2013

'Tis the season.

What season? Well, that depends upon your belief system, doesn't it?

For Christians, it is the season of Advent, the season of Noël; in short, the season of Christmas. For Jews, the season of Hanukkah. For Muslims, the season of Eid.

For others, joining in the mirth has now come to mean celebrating the season of Festivus, a made-up holiday from a made-up television show. And even the Flying Spaghetti Monster adherents are getting in on the fun this year.

Historically, America has treated Christmas as the sole holiday worthy of governmental approval. In the federal schedule of holidays, there is one and only one religious holiday, after all -- Christmas Day. The mail doesn't move, the courts are closed, and all non-emergency government services are shuttered. Sooner or later, someone's going to get around to suing to change this, but nobody's been that bold in the courts yet. If America is a secular nation, after all (it says so, right here on the label...) then why -- in any god's name -- should it recognize one religion over another in such a fashion? But since this hasn't happened yet, we only mention it in passing as a thought exercise for civil rights lawyers to contemplate. On their day off, perhaps.

No doubt, if such a lawsuit ever advanced, it would provide proof positive, for some, that a "War On Christmas" does in fact exist. What is laughable about this is that the real war on Christmas celebrations was waged by some of the first colonists. Puritans in New England rejected virtually all of what we now know as Christmas celebrations, and at times they did so with the force of law behind them. Government offices and courts were open on Christmas Day, and all holiday revelry was either severely frowned upon or banned outright. This is the real history of some of the earliest Christmases in America, and nothing these days even comes close. Part of the fight was due to the Protestant/Catholic schism. Christmas was largely considered a Catholic holiday (it is, after all, a shortening of "Christ's Mass"), and the celebrations of the holiday were a bone of contention in England (where the Puritans came from). Even by the time of the American Revolution, Christmas wasn't largely celebrated here, especially in New England.

As time went by, however, the popularity of Christmas grew. It is, after all, a fun holiday with plenty of fine traditions reaching back into the mists of Christianity. Well, um, no. This is part of what upset the Puritans, in fact -- most Christmas traditions were stolen directly from the pagans. The Christmas tree, the Yule log, wreaths, candles, the very date itself (which used to fall on the Winter Solstice, long before the Gregorian calendar was adopted), gift-giving, holiday cards in verse, wassailing (or just plain getting drunk with holiday cheer), holly, mistletoe, kissing under the mistletoe, the "twelve days" of Christmas, eating a feast, even hooking up at the office party -- pretty much none of these had anything to do with Christians. All were pagan winter holiday rituals without a shred of connection to the baby Jesus whatsoever, before the Church decided to file off the serial numbers and declare such traditions as their own. Ironically enough, the biggest Christmas tradition that today's traditionalist religious leaders tend to decry -- Santa Claus -- is one of the few which arose directly from Christianity itself (there really was a Saint Nicholas, although all the "magic elf who gives naughty and nice children presents" trappings were added later).

But not many delve into this history, preferring instead to bask in hazy "historic" memories of what Christmas is and how we should celebrate it. And, somewhere along the way, this became an excuse for demanding that Christmas is the only holiday acknowledged during the holiday season. Not only were all the older, pagan traditions defended (as being "Christian" celebrations), but no other holidays were to be honored at all.

As always in America, this is all fine and good when we're talking about private homes and businesses and houses of worship. Nobody's suggesting that a Christian church be somehow forced to put up any other religious display than a manger scene, after all. But the battle is truly joined in the public square. Municipal decorations on city streets (often paid for by downtown merchants) are one thing, but when we are talking about religious displays in a public park or at a governmental building, that is quite another, constitutionally.

Which is how we end where we began. There are only two valid choices for a secular government agency to make, constitutionally, when it comes to allowing religious displays on its property: allow everyone in, or allow nobody to erect such displays. What the Constitution forbids is playing favorites -- allowing one religion to set up a display, but not any other. Even though, historically, this did indeed happen for a long time in America, up through the twentieth century. But "that's the way we always did it" just isn't good enough, anymore. This has led, mostly, to a menorah being set up alongside the Christmas tree in public parks across America. "There, we included Jews, good enough, right?" you can almost hear the government agencies say to themselves with relief.

Unfortunately for them, there is also a long tradition in America of rampant silliness. And rampant silliness seems to be busting out all over. Which is fine with me, really, since I enjoy a good dose of rampant silliness as much as the next guy.

So I do applaud the Flying Spaghetti Monster displays. This mock religion was created, in fact, to mock religion. Why shouldn't they have an equal soapbox to do so, at the one time of year when religions are allowed such prominent public displays? I also applaud fans of Seinfeld who deal with their city or state's red tape and get the proper permit to erect a Festivus pole in their courthouse or statehouse. Even if it is made out of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans.

In fact, I would go further than even the PBR cans. Because, knowingly or not, such a holiday display actually celebrates one of the longest midwinter traditions humankind has ever enjoyed -- getting drunk as a skunk. I would suggest that future silliness purveyors dig further back in time and come up with an even better holiday display -- one that honors the god Saturn.

The holiday season of Saturnalia was celebrated in late December for centuries. It involved a sacrifice at the Temple of Saturn, feasting, gift-giving, candles, and of course, heavy drinking and lots of revelry and gambling. Borrowing from other pagan ceremonies across Europe at the time, this also occasionally involved "world turned upside down" situations, where masters would eat with (or even serve) their slaves. Fake "kings" would sometimes be crowned, who could order anyone to do anything (and their imagination knew few bounds as to what that "anything" could be). These false rulers, sadly, were often the human sacrifices at the end of the celebration, though.

OK, sure, Saturnalia had a dark side, but it also seems to have been the origin (or at least the historical conduit) for a lot of the rituals Christians practice today -- which seem to be even older historically than a lot of other Christmas/pagan traditions. Which deserves recognition, alongside all the other seasonal displays. Some enterprising group looking for something slightly less silly than a Festivus pole could come up with a display honoring Saturnalia (here's a fine sculpture on the subject, to get the ideas rolling) to proudly erect in a statehouse somewhere.

Modern Saturnalia revelers would have to, of course, jettison the whole "human sacrifice" thing, in order to gain any sort of wide acceptance. That goes without saying, almost. Minus the darker aspects, though, it'd be just another way for non-Christians to "steal back" all the holiday traditions originally swiped from pagans. After all, who isn't for a bit of gift-giving, candles, feasts and drinking at this time of year? Rather than putting the "Christ" back into "Christmas" (as so many religious leaders beg for, in vain, every year), why not just take the "Christ" completely out of Saturnalia? That way everyone can join in. Take the beer can Festivus pole display to its logical and historical conclusion!

Happy holidays, everyone. No matter what you happen to be celebrating....

-- Chris Weigant

 

Follow Chris on Twitter: @ChrisWeigant

 

16 Comments on “From The Archives -- How About A Saturnalia Display?”

  1. [1] 
    nypoet22 wrote:

    happy saturnalia to all, and to all a good night.

  2. [2] 
    Michale wrote:

    And once again...

    CDC significantly reduces estimate of omicron prevalence in US
    The United States set a record for new COVID-19 cases at 441,278 on Monday

    https://www.foxnews.com/us/cdc-significantly-reduces-estimate-of-omicron-prevalence-in-the-united-states

    Lies and exaggerations from Biden's CD&GC to make COVID seem worse than it is..

    "Honest mistakes" my left arse cheek... This is a co-ordinated and planned campaign to use hysteria and fear-mongering to try and panic Americans into obeying a dictatorial government agenda...

    The facts are as overwhelming as they are conclusive...

    Only a fool or a person going along with the false and hysterical agenda believes Basement Biden's CD&GC in the here and now....

  3. [3] 
    BashiBazouk wrote:

    Michale-

    And once again is right. Try understanding the science or even read the articles you post. The week that had "73%" actually had a confidence interval of 34-94.5%. You could actually read the article you posted and you would find this:

    "Earlier, they probably relied on a small number of available sequences. It should be also noted, although the confidence interval now is narrower, the range is still big, covering from 41.5% to 74%, suggesting large uncertainty,"

    Then at the end this little nugget:

    "It’s also important for people to understand that in the grand scheme of things, they really were probably just a week or two ahead of what we’re going to see anyway, because omicron is spreading so quickly that it is going to be 73% by the time you look at this week’s or next week’s numbers," Adams said.

    Your big conspiracy is just a big nothing burger as usual...

  4. [4] 
    Michale wrote:

    Thank you for conceding that once again, the CD&GC exaggerates COVID to make it seem worse than it is..

    You can spin and conjecture and outright BS all you want..

    But the FACT remains.. The CD&GC was wrong in it's count and the error went the same way that all the other "errors" went...

    Making COVID appear worse than it is...

    I accept your concession to the facts..

  5. [5] 
    BashiBazouk wrote:

    Thank you for conceding that once again, the CD&GC exaggerates COVID to make it seem worse than it is..

    Predictive models are models, not exaggerations. Whatever news outlet you follow, and all news outlets do this left or right biased, report the upper number and not the range because ranges are boring and big numbers (or high percentages) get clicks.

    You can spin and conjecture and outright BS all you want..

    I'll leave that to you...

    But the FACT remains.. The CD&GC was wrong in it's count and the error went the same way that all the other "errors" went...

    Actual testing was/will likely be well within the range of the model once all the number are in. The "FACT" here is you are wrong.

    Making COVID appear worse than it is...

    If Omicron is spreading as fast as predicted that is likely a good thing. Reports from South Africa show that Omicron infections might give some resistance to Delta, while mainly attacking the upper respiratory system, with cold like symptoms. Less death and some resistance to Delta for those anti-vax fools sounds like a net positive to me...

    I accept your concession that you have no idea what you are talking about...

  6. [6] 
    Michale wrote:

    If Omicron is spreading as fast as predicted that is likely a good thing. Reports from South Africa show that Omicron infections might give some resistance to Delta, while mainly attacking the upper respiratory system, with cold like symptoms.

    Funny.. Last time we had this discussion you claimed "BAD" cold like symptoms..

    Now you concede you were wrong then...

    Once again.. I accept your concession.. :D

    This is fun... :D

  7. [7] 
    BashiBazouk wrote:

    Bad cold for anti-vax fools. Normal cold to asymptomatic for us with 3 jabs...

    This is fun... :D

    I agree, watching you talk out your ass is fun...

  8. [8] 
    Michale wrote:

    Bad cold for anti-vax fools. Normal cold to asymptomatic for us with 3 jabs...

    No spine, ball-less sheep with 3 jabs..

    Got it.. :D

  9. [9] 
    BashiBazouk wrote:

    I'm not afraid of needles. Who is the real spineless sheep?

  10. [10] 
    Michale wrote:

    The coward who listens to a demonstrably WRONG government and has to get hysterical and run out to receive an experimental vaccine for a virus that has a 99%+ survival rate...

    That's who...

  11. [11] 
    BashiBazouk wrote:

    And just when do you plan to demonstrate it? You have been quite wrong so far.

    99% survival rate but with over 800,000 dead. It's almost like a virus must be looked at with both survival rate and infectiousness and not just survival rate.

    Was Trump wrong to suggest everyone get vaccinated and boosted? You cry sheep but I notice that Trump and all those talking heads on the conservative news networks are both vaccinated and boosted...

  12. [12] 
    Michale wrote:

    And just when do you plan to demonstrate it? You have been quite wrong so far.

    I have already proven it.. Twice... I am a high risk group and I survived it.. TWICE..

    Was Trump wrong to suggest everyone get vaccinated and boosted?

    Abso-frakin'-loutly...

    You cry sheep but I notice that Trump and all those talking heads on the conservative news networks are both vaccinated and boosted...

    Hypocrites... Just like Democrats...

    So wass yer point??

  13. [13] 
    Michale wrote:

    yyaaaawwwwwnnnnnnnnn

  14. [14] 
    Michale wrote:

    The CDC slashes estimates of omicron's prevalence in the U.S.

    Alarms that the hyper-contagious omicron variant accounted for the vast majority of new COVID-19 infections over the past couple of weeks were significantly overestimated, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

    New data released on Tuesday shows that while omicron remains the dominant variant, delta — which is the more severe strain — is still a worrisome driving force behind the current surge.

    The CDC had previously reported that as of Dec. 18, 73% of new cases were linked to omicron. But on Tuesday, the agency revised those figures, slashing that estimate to 23% — a 50-point drop, suggesting that while the new variant was on the rise, it was not infecting people at the rate the CDC had projected.
    https://www.npr.org/2021/12/28/1068643344/cdc-omicron-covid-19-delta-revise-estimates

    Once again.. Basement Biden's CD&GC scroos da pooch in favor of fear-mongering....

  15. [15] 
    ListenWhenYouHear wrote:

    So if the weatherman says that it should be sunny and clear tomorrow, but then overnight a storm moves in and the weatherman goes on the air to warn the public that a tornado has been reported and they need to take cover immediately, do anti-vaxxers ignore the tornado warnings because that wasn’t what the weatherman originally predicted the weather was going to be? I can just imagine them standing outside as the wind is ripping their single-wide to pieces asking their Ma to pass the sunscreen! It is why we hear stories of people that tested positive in the hospital who are dying but refuse to accept that they have COVID.

    Then again, these folks have been conditioned to ignore the facts that are obvious in support of idiotic claims with no basis in reality. The GOP’s survival has depended on it for decades.

  16. [16] 
    Michale wrote:

    Congrats, Russ.

    You just described all the global warming/climate change hysterical fear mongering coming from the hysterical Left Wingery.

    Yes, we can safely ignore the Democrat weatherman who reports a tornado when it's still sunny and clear and calm outside...

    :D

    Once again.. Ya'all's "arguments" prove my own point.. :D

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