Your generous
donations help keep
this site running.
Visa/MC/PayPal accepted.
This is a roundabout way of introducing this column, by pointing out that we all saw the same Cheech and Chong movies, growing up. Which is doubtlessly why the governor of Colorado felt it was appropriate to send out the following as a response to the voters of his state approving marijuana legalization:
No, seriously. All kidding aside. I've got the winning issue that -- if Republicans were to jump on it right at this very moment, and get out in front and show some leadership -- could revitalize their entire party, save them from the brink of demographic extinction, and enormously boost their chances to win future national elections.
What happens if Puerto Rico becomes the 51st state of the Union?
Seriously, a man running for the most powerful office in the country didn't bother to plan for one of the two contingencies that were guaranteed to happen last night? And he wanted us to let him make crucial decisions for all of us? Willard Mitt Romney's shocking lack of preparedness last night, when it came to speech time, was truly the icing on the sweet, sweet cake of Barack Hussein Obama's second victorious election, at least for me.
OK, let me start by saying that headline is really just a cheap joke. Sort of. The wonks of America will indeed start speculating about the 2014 and 2016 elections either tonight or sometime tomorrow morning, at the latest, but I'm going to refrain from such idle chatter for now, mostly because we've got this year's election to get through first.
Welcome to the last of these Electoral Math columns, at least for the next three and a half years. Today, we're just going to throw caution to the wind, and go ahead and predict the outcome of tomorrow night's returns. Before we get to that, though, a quick rundown of my previous record in the election prediction business, and then (for completeness' sake) the final electoral math graphs for 2012.
Every so often, I get an idea which I know would make me millions of dollars. Today, I had another one: develop and market a pill which, when taken, would put you to sleep until the morning after the election. The pill would be magically timed to work no matter when you took it, meaning a citizen in Texas or California might not want to take one until perhaps mid-October, but the folks in Iowa and New Hampshire might be expected to take one New Year's Eve -- thus avoiding not only the debates and punditary frenzy of the general election, but the entire primary season as well. It would be marketed under the name "The Rip Van Winkle Pill."
October was debate month, and -- surprise! -- it didn't affect his job approval numbers much, if at all. In either direction, really. Obama's job approval rating hardly fluctuated at all throughout all three debates, continuing his trend upward but at a more modest rate.
It's that time of year again, so gather 'round, kiddies, for our spine-tingling and bone-chilling tales of political horror!
The worst of times always brings out the best in people. When disaster strikes, people tend to rediscover their inner humanity.