Getting back to Silly Season 2012 here in America, though -- this is, of course, the official time of year when all the politicians in Washington take (according to them) a well-deserved break from doing the job they're paid to do, to enjoy a luxurious five-week vacation. Because, as we all know, the nation's business has been so fully accomplished that there's really nothing more for Congress to do in August, so they might as well take the month off, right?

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Peering into this fantastical realm, a broad array of fictional characters immediately leaps to mind, any one of which might help balance a Romney ticket. The following list is roughly ordered from least-likely to most-likely, for no other reason than to build suspense and keep you reading this silliness until the end. Where, perhaps, you'll be inspired to make your own suggestion (in the comments) as to a favorite who was inadvertently left off my list.

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In a surprise announcement today, the International Olympic Committee has filed a lawsuit against Mitt Romney and his entire family. Not, as some might have expected, for his recent comments about the London Olympics, but rather because Mitt has been using the term "Romney Olympics" to describe a summer festival held at his palatial vacation home, up to and including this year. The I.O.C. is famously protective of the term "Olympics" and who is allowed to use it, and according to their press release, they are merely protecting their brand. No word on what financial penalty the I.O.C. will be seeking, as an I.O.C. spokesperson told us, "We're going to have to subpoena Mitt's tax returns before we can answer that." He also added, "Mitt's dancing horse will be disqualified from the dressage event, as well."

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President Romney today announced that Sri Lanka has won the bid to represent the American people in Congress, having narrowly edged out both India and China with a spate of well placed bribes in the final hours of the race.

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Since it's the day after a mid-week holiday, we're going to take it easy today, and run a photo sent in by one of our faithful readers, for everyone's enjoyment.
After losing a bet made in these very pages, "Michale" humbly wore the following shirt all day long at his place of business:

Wear it with style, [...]

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Jimmy Kimmel is right... sort of. In this past weekend's schmooze-fest between media organizations and the president (and, for some inexplicable reason, Hollywood), Kimmel performed a comedy routine for the president and the assembled crowd. Towards the end (around 19:40 on the video), Kimmel made a few marijuana jokes. He started by directly asking the president "What is with the marijuana crackdown?" Of course, being a comedian, a few punchlines followed. But the most notable one -- like all good comedic roasting -- had a kernel of truth in it: "You know, pot smokers vote too. Sometimes a week after the election, but they vote."

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So I say, in defense of hookers everywhere, let's legalize prostitution in the nation's capital. The kind that involves sex, I mean. Because the other kind is not only legal, it is actually how we create our laws. And if we as a nation are fine with that, I don't see why we should have a problem with bringing Hooker's Army back to the banks of the Potomac.

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We'll get to that provocative title in the Talking Points section, never fear. I felt the need for a sort of a rant this week, as well as a little humor to open it up with. Truth be told, I've been in a humorous mood all week, as evidenced by my column casting the Republican primary race so far as a climb up the polling mountain range. I think it's the spring weather or something. Since we're on the subject, though, Republican candidates seem like a good place to start today.

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I'm going to be honest, here. I'm just as bored with the Republican nomination race as everyone else is by now. The mainstream media pundits have done a mighty job of trying to keep the excitement alive, but it's just not working anymore. I can do math, and Mitt Romney has been the obvious winner for at least a month now -- which even the pundits are beginning to sheepishly admit.

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Sometimes I'm just astonished at the inability of political campaigns to do a simple web search. Case in point: the story about Mitt Romney's dog Seamus.

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