Currently tracking unidentified flying object on our screens. At times object appears to fly at speeds almost too fast to be believed -- much faster than any known type of aircraft. At other times (always near populated areas up and down the East Coast), object slows to conventional flight speeds and performs what appears to be a search grid over the entire area. During this search, we lose contact multiple times, but the object always reappears quickly, close to previously known position. Impossible as this seems, it is suggested (but not confirmed) that the object may be performing multiple landings in these areas.

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Richard Perle appears from the right wing of the stage, ranting: "That turkey was a perfectly good turkey and it would have successfully been fed to the American people if Bush hadn't dropped it so badly! The idea of the turkey was sound! It was just mishandled! It could have been a good turkey!"

Kenneth Adelman and Michael Rubin join in behind Perle, "He's right! Listen to him! The neo-cons had a great turkey of an idea, and the White House bungled our beautiful turkey!"

Karl Rove darts out of the gloom from the wings, twirling a lasso over his head. He ropes the three dissenters and yanks them back into the right wing.

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My 2006 Jack O'Lanterns. Spooky, eh?

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Finally, there's my favorite choice for a Democratic candidate: Al Franken. Anyone who has seen Robin Williams' new movie Man of the Year is already considering the question: could a comedian win the Presidency? Well... maybe, maybe not. But Franken has set his sights a little lower, publicly discussing how he's positioning himself for a Senate run from Minnesota in 2008. I truly think he could win, and I would love to see Senator Franken in action. C-SPAN meets Comedy Central!

Because he's good enough, he's smart enough, and doggone it, people like him.

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(10) National emergency declared (for some reason or another), midterm elections cancelled. Attorney General Gonzales, backed by the Supreme Court, announces that all congressional elections are null and void, as the President as Unitary Executive (all praise His Name) will be dictating who will be allowed to serve in Congress, due to a Presidential signing statement that, unfortunately, you can't read (for reasons of national security, and the fact that we're at war, dammit); and due to the Omniscient Power of Our Fearless Leader George W. Bush -- long may His Holy Name be revered by the loving populace. Odds: too scary to compute

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(10) Announce that Barbara and/or Jenna Bush has joined the Marines and will soon be deploying to Iraq. Odds: 17.5 billion to 1

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