ChrisWeigant.com

Archive of Articles in the "Humor" Category

Friday Talking Points -- Trump's Mask-querade

[ Posted Friday, May 22nd, 2020 – 18:08 UTC ]

Proof has finally emerged that President Donald Trump has actually put a mask on his face. Bizarrely, this proof came from a non-official photographer instead of from an official media or White House source. Because the one thing Trump wants to avoid at all costs is ever setting any kind of good example for anyone.

Read Complete Article »

Two Amusing/Horrifying Suggestions To Update The Debate Format

[ Posted Wednesday, January 15th, 2020 – 17:44 UTC ]

While reading everyone else's take on last night's debate, I came across an interesting idea. Actually, two of them, but they're closely related, both being suggestions for how the debate format might be changed from what we saw last night to improve it for everyone. The first suggestion was an incremental one: since there are now fewer candidates, give each of them longer answer segments -- anywhere from two to five minutes. That makes a lot of sense now that there are only six of them on stage. But the reaction that really spurred my thinking came from Larry Sabato, who wrote in Politico the following suggestion:

Read Complete Article »

Literally, The Curated And Totes Artisanal Banished Words List From The Influencers At L.S.S.U.

[ Posted Thursday, January 2nd, 2020 – 21:37 UTC ]

A new year, as always, means many things to many people, but to the folks up at Lake Superior State University in Sault Sainte Marie, Michigan, it means it is time once again for the annual official "Banished Words List." Hey, with the winters they have to put up with in the frigid Upper Peninsula, I think we can all agree that they deserve a little fun at the dawn of each new year. So without further ado, let's check out the full list:

Read Complete Article »

My 2019 "McLaughlin Awards" [Part 2]

[ Posted Friday, December 27th, 2019 – 19:41 UTC ]

Welcome back to the second and final installment of our year-end awards columns! If you missed last week's column, you should probably check that out, too.

Read Complete Article »

From The Archives -- The Biggest Conspiracy Of All

[ Posted Thursday, December 26th, 2019 – 17:50 UTC ]

Program Note: Here's hoping everyone had a happy Christmas and found what they wanted under the tree (or otherwise celebrated the winter solstice in their own chosen fashion). I'm busily working on tomorrow's column, the second installment of our year-end awards. So while I dig through innumerable 2019 stories and articles, I would invite everyone to sit back and enjoy a column I wrote ten years ago. In it, I uncover a worldwide conspiracy that each and every one of you has participated in at one point or another in your lives. Yes, you! You're a co-conspirator just like all the others....

Read Complete Article »

My 2019 "McLaughlin Awards" [Part 1]

[ Posted Friday, December 20th, 2019 – 19:05 UTC ]

Welcome back once again to our year-end "McLaughlin Awards," named for the awards categories we lifted from the McLaughlin Report years ago. We've added a category here and there over time, but it's still the same basic list.

Read Complete Article »

From The Archives -- A Washington Thanksgiving Farce

[ Posted Wednesday, November 27th, 2019 – 17:27 UTC ]

Some days, the humor just writes itself. Today, our illustrious president proved once again (as if any doubt remained) that he is, in fact, dumber than a bag of hammers. At a signing ceremony to proclaim a new centennial coin for the ratification of the Nineteenth Amendment next year (women got the right to vote in 1920), Donald Trump mused aloud why this hadn't happened previously. Previous presidents, according to Trump, just didn't know how to get things done, which is why they hadn't proclaimed this centennial before now.

In other words, Trump was mystified why the 100th anniversary of an event hadn't taken place earlier than the 100th anniversary of that event. At this point, even bags of hammers are laughing at his idiocy.

Read Complete Article »

Two Bone-Chilling Hallowe'en Tales For Left And Right

[ Posted Wednesday, October 30th, 2019 – 17:59 UTC ]

It's time once again to enter the Crypt, shine a flashlight up onto our face in the dark, and spin two ghastly tales of horror and mayhem for both sides of the aisle.

Gather 'round and prepare to quiver in fear, kiddies, because Hallowe'en comes but once a year. Think things are bad now? Hah! Think they couldn't possibly get any more spine-chilling or frightful? Think again!

Read Complete Article »

Friday Talking Points -- They Just Don't Care Anymore

[ Posted Friday, October 18th, 2019 – 18:14 UTC ]

We've reached the stage where Donald Trump and his henchmen are no longer even pretending to care about their lawlessness -- they're just doing it right out in the open for everyone to see, daring their fellow travellers in the Republican Senate to care. Right after Trump's White House chief of staff admitted that there was indeed a quid pro quo in Trump's call to the Ukraine, the White House announced that the upcoming G-7 summit would take place at Trump's own Florida resort. Both are, quite obviously, impeachable offenses. Right out there in the open, for all to see.

Read Complete Article »

Xi, Who Pays The Piper, Calls The Tune

[ Posted Tuesday, October 8th, 2019 – 17:10 UTC ]

I don't think I've ever used this column to comment on the world of basketball, but there's always a first time for everything. The National Basketball Association is currently struggling with a conflict between free speech and making piles of money in China. It is a struggle that many American corporations have faced before, and it boils down to one basic fact: if you want China's money, then you have to play by their rules, period. Chairman Xi is paying the piper, so he gets to call the tune. The concept is clear, and nobody's forcing any company to do business with China, but if any American company does want to tap into their billion-person market, then they've got to follow the Chinese rules for doing business there. And most of those rules are antithetical to democratic norms, which makes perfect sense because China is an authoritarian state.

Read Complete Article »