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Today is apparently Dr. Seuss Day. Who knew? In the spirit of this not-so-solemn occasion, I considered writing today's entire column in Seuss-ian language.
The "Great Communicator," for our younger readers who were not exposed to him, was what the media eventually decided to call President Ronald Reagan. The title of this article, for our unhipper readers (excuse me, for "the suave-ically-challenged"), is an homage to Frank Zappa's boxed set of albums entitled Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar. You see, while Frank Zappa was a consummate musician as a guitarist and bandleader, his eclectic (to say the least) lyrical style, not to mention his singing ability, turned a lot of people off. So he released a three-album all-instrumental boxed set just for such semi-fans, with disks titled: "Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar," "Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar Some More," and "Return of the Son Of Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar." If Zappa couldn't have fun with the lyrics, he certainly wasn't going to forego having some fun with the album and song names (best track name: "Variations on the Carlos Santana Secret Chord Progression").
About a week ago, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs got off a good line about the progress of the stimulus package: "The sausage race is the beginning of the next inning. So just stay tuned." This was about halfway through the bill's legislative process. Not only did he declare an opening to Baseball Metaphor Season, he also rather ingeniously alluded to Otto von Bismarck's well-known warning that the public should not look too closely at how laws and sausages are made.
Howard Dean is a man of many titles. You can call him Governor Dean, or Chairman Dean, or even ex-presidential candidate Dean. But the one title which qualifies him to be named as Secretary of Health and Human Services is Doctor Dean. Now that Tom Daschle has withdrawn from consideration (due to a few tax problems), Howard Dean should be first on the list of possible appointees.
Is Rick Warren, pastor of a California mega-church and author of The Purpose Driven Life considered unacceptable in American society at large? Was Obama's invitation to Warren to speak at his inauguration akin to, in today's world, inviting a white supremacist, an anti-Semite, or a blatant misogynist to speak? To put it another way, is Rick Warren beyond the pale?
Three names suggest themselves in this category. The first, sad to say, is Sarah Palin. While some dismiss her with the term (which she herself uttered on Saturday Night Live) "Caribou Barbie," my educated guess is that we have not seen the last of Alaska's governor on the national stage. Because while the list of things Palin lacks is long and daunting, she has one star quality which may prove to be strong enough to cancel all the rest out -- charisma. A politician can learn about such mundane things as world events and how to speak with political finesse, but charisma can't really be learned -- it's more of an innate quality. And Palin's got it. For those laughing at the prospect of Sarah Palin ever reappearing, I caution that when Ronald Reagan first ran for president, we all laughed at him, too. An actor becoming president? Pre-pos-terous! So don't underestimate charisma, or Palin's ambition.
I fully admit I would rather be at home now than covering the annual "sit on Santa's lap" photo-op for politicians, but I seem to have annoyed my editor, so here I am -- your intrepid holiday reporter. While I fully admit that I did spike the punch at our annual holiday party, I explain this away in traditional Washington fashion -- by stating that I was young and irresponsible when this occurred. Last week, I was much younger and much more irresponsible than I am now. Ahem. Besides, nobody got hurt (much) and I think everyone had a much better time at the party as a result... the "Elf Incident" aside.... Anyway, this explains why I was assigned to cover this particular event -- instead of being snug at home in my bed, wondering what a sugarplum looks like (in case one should dance in my head tonight).
Welcome to our annual awards! For the past three years, this column has paid homage (translation: "ripped off their gimmick") to the McLaughlin Group television show by handing out our own year-end awards (while using the same categories). This will be a two-part column, with the second installment appearing one week from today. And feel free to watch the McLaughlin Group on your local PBS station this weekend, to compare my picks with theirs.
We haven't done one of these in a while, but between working on tomorrow's column (don't miss Part One of our annual awards show!) and all the usual holiday stuff, I don't have enough time for more than a few short items here. Oh, I did want to say thanks to everyone who has donated so far to the "Send Chris To The Inauguration Fund" as we have just topped halfway towards our giving goal. I sincerely appreciate the support.
You know, I don't necessarily believe so, and that's a sad reflection, isn't it? It's a sad reflection on how little stock we seem to put into character in politics. It's going to be a tight race, but Stevens could still win this thing. Stevens has been around so long, and we do have a very partisan situation up here in Alaska, where evidently some are willing to accept representation irrespective of a conviction. I think some people will se