A United States Ministry of Truth spokesman proudly unveiled the new official definition of "privacy" today, on the heels of their successful campaign to redefine "torture." The new meaning of the word "privacy" will now be (according to MiniTru): "the secure feeling citizens get by knowing that their government is collecting and protecting their personal data." Old definitions of privacy will no longer be operative.

The MiniTru spokesman was quite enthusiastic about the definition rollout. "For generations Americans have been burdened by the responsibility of guarding their own privacy," he said. "This was too great a task for the public to adequately control, so the logical answer was to have the government take over this onerous work, to better serve each citizen's private life. No longer will Americans have to worry about their own privacy, because now Big Brother will take care of it for them."

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So, according to Bush, you're a Nazi appeaser if you refuse to confirm someone as our highest law enforcement officer who will use Nazi tactics against our prisoners. Or something. Let me try again -- you're not against Nazis strongly enough if you don't allow me to behave like a Nazi and torture anyone I want. Boggles the mind, doesn't it? Like I said, it's hard to tell what he's thinking these days.

Anyway, remember you heard it here first: the Bush Doublethink Corollary to Godwin's Law.

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The Bush administration is pushing a narrative on national security issues (and has been for some time now) which can be summed up as: "Trust us, we know what we're doing -- and we're doing it to keep you safe." Two facets of this issue are on the front burner this week: warrantless wiretapping and torture (or as they put it "extraordinary interrogation techniques," one of many euphemisms they've trotted out). But what seems to be lost in the debate are two data points that just don't fit in with their pre-packaged narrative. And, once again, the mainstream media are largely ignoring these points since they'd have to... you know... commit an act of journalism to confront them squarely.

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[Mayor "Diamond" Joe Quimby and tycoon C. Montgomery Burns]

You may well wonder why I, a (mostly) serious political analyst, begin my weekly Wednesday column with the images of two Simpsons characters. The answer is: these two images are the story. More on that in a bit.

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Senator Chris Dodd wins the inaugural MIDOTW award for showing how Democrats are supposed to behave. He has tossed down the gauntlet on the wiretapping bill working its way through the Senate, and will put a "hold" on any bill which comes out of committee that provides amnesty for telecommunications companies which have broken wiretapping laws in the past by cooperating with Big Brother and just meekly handing over data without a warrant to compel them.

Well done Senator Dodd! The first ever Golden Backbone is yours in a landslide!

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Senator Chris Dodd doesn't get a lot of press attention even though he's running for the Democratic nomination for president. This may be about to change, as Senator Dodd has just announced he is putting a "hold" on the FISA bill being considered by various Senate committees.

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The elitism and disdain dripping from Pelosi's comments are staggering, considering the fact that she knew she was on the record when she uttered them. Not content to rail against anti-war protesters on her front sidewalk (which likely would have been enough to gain her some sympathy from normal people, who might agree that the protesters had crossed some line of propriety), Pelosi can't resist the urge to twist the knife by complaining about the First Amendment. Wow. You don't hear Democrats saying things like this very often, for a good reason -- the Democratic base actually believes the First Amendment is a good thing.

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Luckily, I don't have to compose an article on why this is a silly idea. Frank Zappa already did it for me, so I will rely on his testimony before the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation from 9/19/85 -- almost exactly 22 years ago.

A little background is necessary for those who don't know the history of this testimony. This hearing was pushed by a group calling themselves the "Parents' Music Resource Council," (PMRC) which was comprised of four wives of Washington politicians. One of the most prominent was Senator Al Gore's wife Tipper. Al Gore himself sat on this committee and questioned Zappa. This is why she occasionally (even today) gets booed at any event which has music-lovers in the audience.

She has earned those boos, in my opinion. The PMRC was trying to get legislation passed to put warning stickers on albums (yes, actual "albums" -- this was pre-CD) so parents could see what their children were buying. They really didn't want legislation as much as they wanted the music industry to institute its own ratings system, much like the MPAA does for movies (the people who decide whether a movie is "R" or "PG"). They were basically Senators' wives with too much time on their hands (they also were upset over Satanic lyrics supposedly recorded backwards on Led Zeppelin albums).

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We need a Senate Majority Leader who will believe in something, say so in a telegenic and charismatic fashion on television, and then back it up by fighting for it in the Senate. It's all about that intangible quality called leadership. A strong leader might lead us off a cliff, or into the wasteland of permanent minority status -- but they could also lead us back to being a party people can believe would stand up and fight for what is right.

The question remains: Is Harry Reid the right person to do so, right now? Or is it time for Harry to go?

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