We thought (with all the drones buzzing around New Jersey and whatnot) that it'd be a good time to re-run this fun column from Christmases past. Enjoy, and we hope everyone gets what they wanted in their stockings tomorrow morning!

Originally published December 23, 2013

Ho, Ho, Holy Cow -- Santa Gets Fighter Escort On U.S. Military Site (Reuters)

A U.S. military website showing Santa Claus delivering his presents while guarded by warplanes has some children's advocates worried.

In a twist to its tradition of tracking an animated version of Santa Claus' sleigh and reindeer as he flies around the globe on December 24, the military is adding the animated fighter plane escort to give a realistic feel to the popular feature, said a spokesman for the North American Aerospace Defense Command.

"We wanted to let folks know that, hey, this is a NORAD video, and we're the military and this is our mission," said the spokesman, Navy Captain Jeff Davis.

[Note: The above article is real. What follows, however, is not.]

We hereby interrupt our live coverage of Pope Francis leading Midnight Mass this Christmas Eve, because we've got some breaking news from the Pentagon. We apologize for pre-empting our traditional Christmas Eve programming, and promise we will continue our coverage after the newsbreak, on a slight time delay so our viewers won't miss a single minute of the Pope.

We take you now to our Pentagon correspondent, who is awaiting the start of this extraordinary and unprecedented Christmas Eve press conference...

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[Program Note: From now until after the new year dawns, I can't promise any new columns, but there may be a few. I had intended to write about the Gaetz report today, but it took so long to get through it and make notes that that's going to have to wait until tomorrow, sorry. We'll also at some point have our "Banished Words List" annual column, and I may be motivated to write about other things happening in Washington. But again -- no promises. It's been a long month here (seems like someone stole a week between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year somehow) and I need a vacation to recharge my batteries. Anyway, hope everyone has a great holiday season, and don't forget to keep those donations coming! Our pledge drive is going very slowly this year, but I am still hoping to raise enough to cover the cost of redesigning the website next month, so please give what you can!]

Originally published December 4, 2007

When is Christmas? And why?

These are questions guaranteed to get you funny looks when you pop them, especially in a gathering of wassail-soaked relatives. But if you're tired of hearing the seemingly-eternal "this is what Uncle Fred did when he was twelve" stories, and you're leery of bringing up politics with your kin from Outer Podunk, then it's at least a conversation-starter that's somewhat neutral. Plus, you can reaffirm your nearest-and-dearests' image of you as a latte-sipping fruitcake who moved away from the glory of the heartland and now lives on (say it with an embarrassed whisper) the coast.

OK, I should stop editorializing here. After all, the subject at hand is Christmas.

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Welcome back to the second of our year-end awards columns! And if you missed it last Friday, go check out [Part 1] as well.

It was a rather eventful week in politics this week, as Elon Musk completely eclipsed Donald Trump as the biggest bomb-thrower in the Republican Party. He was so spectacularly good at blowing everything up that none other than Newt Gingrich (the original Republican bomb-thrower) suggested the incoming House of Representatives should elect him speaker. Democrats are smirking on the sidelines and calling him "President Musk," in an effort to get under Trump's infamously thin skin, so we'll have to see where all of this goes in the coming days. As of this writing, House Democrats took pity on Speaker Johnson and provided him with enough votes to pass a continuing resolution that will avoid a government shutdown at midnight -- but still, 34 Republicans voted against it. One has to wonder whether that will spark Musk's rage or not... oh, beg your pardon... we meant to say Trump's rage, of course (heh).

All we've got to say about the legislative Dumpster fire that was the past few days is: Welcome to the next few years! Buckle in, it's going to be a wild ride, that much is for certain.

But we've got to put current events aside, because it is time to finish up our year-end awards columns with this week's [Part 2] offering. As always, we must begin with a warning for all readers. It's long. Really, really long. Horrendously long. Insanely long. It takes a lot of stamina to read all the way to the end. You have been duly warned! But because it is so long, we certainly don't want to add any more here at the start, so let's just dive in, shall we?

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Well, that was quick. Donald Trump has already been eclipsed. His signature bomb-throwing style has now been outdone by the man who seemingly refuses to leave Trump's side, and who is a much bigger bomb-thrower than even Trump himself. Elon Musk is now running the government -- or, at the very least, the Republican Party's part of it. This has relegated Trump to being an afterthought, something that he's not usually very comfortable with. Will this begin to chafe? Will Trump decide to sideline Musk at some point, for the sin of overshadowing him on the political stage? We'll have to see, but we do have one suggestion for Democrats who might wish for this to happen.

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It must be a slow news month. That's the obvious explanation. But then "obvious explanations" aren't exactly newsworthy, or maybe just not entertaining enough, perhaps. It's much more fun to present all kinds of wild theories, isn't it? Which, again, is the obvious explanation for why the mainstream media keeps (pun definitely intended) droning on and on.

The story began last month in New Jersey, which was rather famously the setting for the Orson Welles 1938 radio adaptation of the H.G. Wells classic The War Of The Worlds. Alien spaceships had landed in the Garden State, and mankind was only saved in the end by the seasonal flu. A great story, a chilling adaptation of it, and a whole lot of people totally freaked out when they heard it (many of whom missed the introduction where it was explained that this was a fictional broadcast). It probably didn't help that it aired on Hallowe'en.

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Once again, I need your ideas. Last Friday we ran the first of our two-part year-end awards columns, so we're halfway to closing the year out here.

So put on your thinking caps and try to remember the year that was, and share your nominations for the second round with everyone. There are (as always) plenty of categories to choose from, so anyone worth noting will likely fit into one of them. It was a rollercoaster of a year, so there should be lots to choose from.

And once again, I would be remiss if I didn't urge everyone to support the site with your generous donations. The site redesign/update is on track for January or February, and your input has been helping, but it's going to be a rather big hit on the site's budget, so we're hoping we can meet this year's goal before we get there.

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Since the election, the United States Constitution has been in the news, as many seem to be dusting off obscure provisions within it and contemplating their actual use. First there was Donald Trump threatening to make "recess appointments" for any of his nominees the Senate fails to confirm, and now this week a blue state is considering withdrawing its call for a constitutional convention, while Democrats in Congress are calling on President Joe Biden to move to declare the Equal Rights Amendment ratified and part of the Constitution.

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Everybody ready? Here is the first installment of our year-end awards, with our obligatory nod to The McLaughlin Group television show for coming up with these categories.

As always, it's a marathon. It's really, really long. Don't say you weren't warned! And since it is so long, that's all the introduction we're going to bother with.

Ready?... everyone buckle up... here we go....

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This isn't a real column, just an extended program note. I am busily working on tomorrow's year-end awards column, combing through the year's events for all the forgotten stuff, so I am currently too swamped to write an new article.

Instead, I thought I would ask readers for some preferences, as I work to figure out what the design of the new site will look like. I am heavily in favor of the "KISS" principle (Keep It Simple, Stupid!) and so am looking to remove a whole bunch of stuff. These sorts of things were niceties way back when, in the dawn of blogging, but are all woefully outdated now.

But before I do, I thought I'd ask whether anyone still uses this stuff or not, just so people can make the case to keep things. This will be in no particular order, just random design ideas (mostly for stuff to strip out).

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It has been astonishing to watch the reactions to the cold-blooded killing of a health insurance executive. Not so much the rude reactions people have been posting online, but the reactions to those reactions, in both the media and in the political world. This inability to recognize the rage that exists towards health insurers in general is nothing more than elitism. People who simply can't understand this free-floating anger are out of touch with the struggles ordinary people face and the powerless feeling it leaves them with. Murdering someone on the street is obviously an unacceptable answer, but it has provided a catharsis of feeling that someone out there took the power into his own hands for once. It's not exactly Robin Hood, but cheering for an outlaw isn't exactly a new thing when the outlaw is seen to be fighting back against entrenched power.

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